“I smile winningly at him but the muscles in my face hurt so I stop and then the jackhammer in my chest breaks through and it’s okay though because I am the first.
But really. It’s okay. I’m okay.”
I smile at the nice lady holding up the two lollipops.
“Which one do you want?”
I take both.
The first day of school is the most important day of school because you have to make a good first impression on the people around you, and your teacher because the teacher is the most important person in that classroom except for yourself so, go in there and have some fun because that’s what you need to do. What in the hell do I do with this wooden stick in my hands.
After all of the words and letters and numbers and letters and names and places I go and I leave and I go out into the sun. Gotta get that vitamin D, imperative for bone and overall growth and bone marrow and growth of bone marrow.
I go and have some fun, because that’s how it works.
I look up and see a bear. I scream and yell but nothing happens. People around me are laughing at a joke so I start laughing too. We all start laughing harder, and it’s ok because the bear took off its head and it’s also laughing. What was the joke guys, I bet it was really funny because y’all are laughing so hard, and I really want to hear it please…?
Because after all. We all need something to calm our nerves.
We all start typing away, writing a paper or article or essay so we can pass this course and graduate from college and graduate from graduate school and get a nice and cushy job and retire in southern France with vines all over the walls. I print out my paper to my professor’s watch, where he can then access it manually or have the ScanMan™ grade it along with the others. The professor gives me a small, sad smile as I run out of lecture hall and into the sunlight.
After all. We all need a release from our bodies once in awhile.
Where did the time go? After all these years, all I have is a giant stuffed bear that says “Go Big Reds!” emblazoned on the top its forehead and it’s looking at me funny and oh sorry but I have to go and go color in circles with sticks.
I stand at the door of the researcher and he looks at me in pity and fear and worry and surprise and hope and sorrow. I smile winningly at him but the muscles in my face hurt so I stop and then the jackhammer in my chest breaks through and it’s okay though because I am the first.
But really. It’s okay. I’m okay.
He asks me if I want to call someone because he has to.
I close my eyes and take the lollipops and throw them onto the ground because all of the words make sense.
I won’t be the last.