“I can’t take from others
Because I know how hard it is to give.”
3 hard candies in my hand and
slip them out of their plastic shells.
I pop each one into my mouth
with a quick movement,
So no one can see what I’ve done.
pictures of leaves and flowers and hands
and then delete them.
I hide them so well
That they’re never found,
And I shake my head when
People see my camera
And ask if I take any good pictures.
And warp them until they’re
All I can hold onto.
Subtle, teasing comments
That shouldn’t mean anything.
Tests and lose my sanity
For 44 minutes.
hesitant hugs and lemon drops with smiles that taste just as sour.
Averted glances and
Tired, trembling high fives.
until my hands are so empty and raw that they hurt too much to take.
I can’t take from others
Because I know how hard it is to give.
We’re still kids with
Stuck to rapacity and red life savers.
books and fall asleep with them so the pages are crumpled where I finished reading.
water and let it slip through the cracks between each finger,
Long showers that lull
My environmentalist mind to sleep.
Between giggles or sobs ––
It makes no difference.
a dictionary and shake it hard
so the words have new meanings.
my friends’ hands when we walk through cemeteries
because it’s scary and cold,
But their fingers aren’t.
Minutes to myself.
Sunday mornings where I lay under a snowy white mountain of blankets,
The sun creeping in through my window;
her in with open arms.
I take for myself,
3 hard candies
And rip them out of their plastic shells,
So everyone knows that I’m here
And ready to take.