Twin Survival Guide

by Jessie Rosenblatt, age 13
Twin Survival Guide

“This is your go-to guide on surviving being a twin.

Well, this is NOT going to be easy. You see, to be honest, being a twin is awful. Take it from me. So now for the tips.”

This is your go-to guide on surviving being a twin.

Well, this is NOT going to be easy. You see, to be honest, being a twin is awful. Take it from me. So now for the tips.

Having two of the same gender twins is a lot better. But if you have a boy or girl twin and you are the opposite gender, buckle your seat belt – it is going to be a very bumpy ride.

Pre-Step 1:

If you can eat your twin in the womb you can avoid all problems and read this guide.

Step 1:

SHARE YOUR FOOD IN THE WOMB!!

Sometimes one twin can be dominant and eat all the food that your mother gives you, but don’t let that happen. Fight your way to the food. (But don’t kill the other twin because your mommy will be really mad).

Step 2:

DO NOT HAVE THE SAME FRIENDS!!

Sometimes in school you will end up with the same friends, but as you get older, this is not a good idea. Say you’re going to a party with all your friends and…your siblings. You guys are in a gossip circle and everything is going swell until your twin tells your Biggest. Darkest. Secret.

Step 3:

AVOID YOUR TWIN AT ALL COSTS!!

Sometimes school can be a place for kids to do something they are not allowed to do without their parents knowing, but having a twin at your school is like having a rat in your pocket. If you can avoid your twin and do opposite things at opposite times, it’s only for the better.

Step 4:

BE PRETTIER THAN YOUR TWIN!!

Being a twin means being compared. Be more gorgeous so that when people talk about you, you’re the angelic one and your twin is the ugly, fat one. Also you probably can make them really, really jealous especially when you date their friends. If you wanna be extra better, maybe hook up with their friends.

Step 5:

BE A BROWN NOSE TO YOUR PARENTS!!

Listen up, children, this may as well be the most important step:

Be your parents’ favorite!!! If you are nice and listen to what your parents say, you will be the “better” twin. And be rewarded in different ways like gifts.

That’s it folks! I hope you learned something because these tips will help you survive being a twin!

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