The Element of Surprise

by Griffin Wilmer, age 12
The Element of Surprise I'm a 12 year old kid from Verona NJ! I love drawing, acting, singing, and writing! Anyway, how are you? Do you enjoy the presence of turtles? Where is the nearest Pizza parlor in Tokyo, Japan? Do you like the smell of unicorn farts? Do you know what time it is? Love you, bye, love you, love, bye, love you, bye, bye, see you sometime!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!?!

“And then I used my ability, which by the way I get from eating. I shot the monster with my smelly gas to make the monster faint! On the other hand Helium sat around doing nothing, so ha! It’s Helium’s fault!”

Sulfur- an alien from the planet Quadra-Elemence, a slob, tends to think more of himself, very rebellious, counter-dependent, loves food, wants to be in solitude, but also wants a family 44

 

Helium-  an alien from the planet Quadra-Elemence, a snob, acts very perfect, thinks everything should be perfect, wants to be listened to, group-dependent, always wants things to be her way 38

 

Monster- a corrupt alien from the planet Quadra-Elemence, it has turned into a monster

 

Human/McDonald’s Worker- human is fearful and impatient, McDonald’s Worker doesn’t understand what is going on

 

Scene 1

 

(Helium and Sulfur bickering and yelling)

 

Helium

But we did!

 

Sulfur

Are you trying to get us arrested!?

 

Helium

Ugh! Humans are so ignorant when it comes to real politics! No wonder they are not part of the alliance.

 

Sulfur

Helium!

 

Helium

Let us just tell the police officer what happened.

 

Sulfur

Fine!

 

Helium

FINE!

 

Sulfur

What evs.

 

Helium

It all started when we arrived on New York state, United States of America, Northern Western Hemisphere, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy…

 

Sulfur

(interrupting) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Helium

Anyway, Sulfur and I, the perfect Helium, arrived in New York State. We were sent to your primitive planet to destroy the corrupt people from our own planet, Quadra-Elemence.

 

Sulfur

These broken people from our planets are kinda monsters so no duh we had to come to save your home or what evs.

 

Helium

Here is definitely, truly, and completely what happened… (Helium’s flashback – play elegant piano music)

 

End Scene 1

 

Scene 2

 

Person

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Monster

grrrrrrrrrrrrr! RAAAAAAAAAR! (Monster runs to Person and grabs him/her)

 

Person

SOMEONE! HELP ME!

 

Sulfur

Never fear, Sulfur is here! Man I always wanted to say that! YASSSSSS!

 

Helium

Ugh! Why am I stuck with this sorry excuse for a teammate!

 

Person

AM I BEING SAVED OR WHAT?!

 

Sulfur

Or what! (laughs hysterically)

 

Helium

Sulfur, focus! Corner the monster by trapping it between exactly four of those primitive automobiles!

 

Sulfur

You mean the cars? What evs. (Grabs 4 boxes and traps Monster in a square crookedly)

 

Helium

It is crooked! What is wrong with you! (Runs to boxes to fix them, but the Monster grabs her)

Let go of me! Help!

 

Sulfur

Fine. Hmmmmmm, what should I do?

 

Person and Helium

SAVE US!

 

(end Helium’s flash back end music)

 

End Scene 2

 

Scene 3

 

Helium

And then Mr. Officer, Sulfur left us. As you can see it is all Sulfur’s fault!

 

Sulfur

At least i didn’t get carried away with all of those crazy back flips! You gotta see my side of the story!

 

Helium

At least I’m not grammatically incorrect.

 

Sulfur

Is she talking about I? What evs. When I left I did something important.  (Sulfur’s flashback play crazy drum music)

 

End Scene 3

 

Scene 4

Person and Helium                         

SAVE US!

 

Sulfur

Alright. I think i have an idea. Brb! (runs to McDonald’s)

 

End Scene 4

 

Scene 5

 

McDonald’s Worker

Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?

 

Sulfur

Yeah, I’d like three Big Macs, five twenty-piece chicken nuggets, four double orders of cheese burgers, an extra large cola, and a side of large fries? Oh, and can I have a salad?

 

McDonald’s Worker

That’ll be $500.

 

Sulfur

WHAT!? That’s a rip-off! I’m saving your world, bruh!

 

McDonald’s worker

LIAR! (flashing lights followed by a roar)

(scared) Ok, it’s on the house

 

Sulfur

Thanks! Bye! (runs out of McDonald’s)

 

End Scene 5

 

Scene 6

 

Person and Helium

HELP PLEASE!

 

Sulfur

I’m back, and this time I have a plan!

 

Helium

Don’t tell me you are using your ability.

Monster

ROAR!

 

(Sulfur’s flashback done end music)

 

End Scene 6

 

Scene 7

 

Sulfur

And then I used my ability, which by the way I get from eating. I shot the monster with my smelly gas to make the monster faint! On the other hand Helium sat around doing nothing, so ha! It’s Helium’s fault!

 

Helium

Wow, Sulfur. I’m surprised at how well you thought out your plan, but you are still wrong. What really happened was that you… (Helium’s 2nd flashback play piano music)

 

End Scene 7

 

Scene 8

 

Monster

ROAR! (falls asleep and snores along with Helium and Person.)

 

Sulfur

HAHAHA! I did it! I saved you! All of you! Maybe now you’ll treat me like a real person Helium! Helium? Ummmmmm… are you okay?

 

Helium

(snores louder then wakes up) Huh? What? where am I? YAWN! Man what did you do this time, Sulfur?

 

Person

YAWN! Thanks for saving me, I guess.

 

Helium

Quickly Sulfur, move this human back to where it belongs before the monster wakes up!

 

Sulfur

That’s not fair! Me always get the easy stuff!

 

Helium

You mean “I always get the easy stuff.”

 

Sulfur

No, I mean I always get the easy stuff! ME!

 

Helium

When I said it I meant your sentence was grammatically incorrect! Now go!

 

Person

I don’t have all day!

 

Sulfur

Stay out of it human!

 

(Sulfur and Helium bicker and yell)

 

Monster

(wakes up) YAWN! ROAR!

 

Sulfur

OMG! OMG! OMG!

 

Helium

You mean “Oh my gosh!”

 

Sulfur

What evs.

 

Helium

COME ON! I’ll grab the human with my special ability and you go!

 

(end 2nd Helium flashback end piano)

 

End Scene 8

 

Scene 9

 

Sulfur

Blah, blah, blah. (sarcastically) You used your ability to magically float the person to safety! (spins fingers around in air)

 

Helium

Pshhhhhhh (sticks tongue out)

 

Sulfur

After Helium used her dumb power, I attacked the monster!

 

End Scene 9

 

Scene 10

 

(Sulfur flashback 2 – play drum music)

 

Monster

ROAR!

 

Sulfur

Prepare for the butt kicking of a lifetime! I also always wanted to say that! (fight choreography)

Take that! And that! And that!

Monster

ROAR! (fights back)

 

Sulfur

OUCH! Ugh, that hurt a lot. How do i get into these situations?

 

Monster

ROAR! (fights again)

 

Sulfur

OUCH! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (fake punch rapid fire) How do you like that monster?!

 

Monster

(coughs then faints)

 

Sulfur

YASSSSSSSSSS!

 

End Scene 10

 

Scene 11

(end Sulfur’s 2nd flashback)

 

Helium

Sulfur! That’s actually pretty interesting! Did you really do that?

 

Sulfur

Yeah.

 

Helium

Sounds like you are more powerful than I thought, Sulfur.

 

Sulfur

Thanks, I mean what evs!

 

Helium

Anyway, Mr. Officer, after that Sulfur and I kind of worked together.

 

Sulfur

What evs.

 

Helium

When i came back…

 

End Scene 11

 

Scene 12

 

(Helium and Sulfur’s flashback play the song “amalgam”)

 

Helium

I’m back! Where is the monster?

 

Sulfur

Right there by the curb. I defeated it by myself!!!!!!

 

Helium

Umm, it does not look defeated Sulfur!

 

Sulfur

Yeah it does! It’s right… (confused) umm, where’d it go? What’d you do with it? (monster sneaks up behind and grabs Sulfur) HELP!

 

Helium

Oh Sulfur. What am I going to do with you?!

 

Sulfur

HELP!

 

Helium

Coming Sulfur. (Takes a breath and slowly walks to the monster not caring at all) Hmmm, what to do at a time like this. Oh wait, Sulfur has disgusting gas powers! If I can get Sulfur something to consume, he can release his noxious gas! (grabs small box) Sulfur catch! (throws to Sulfur)

 

Sulfur

Good idea, bruh! (pretends to eat) HA! Take that monster thing!

 

Monster

BLEH! (lets go of Sulfur)

 

Helium

As Sulfur likes to say, take that foul beast! (fight choreography)

 

Sulfur

Hi-ya! (fake punch from behind)

 

Helium and Sulfur

HA! (fake punch monster faints)

 

End Scene 12

 

Scene 13

 

(end Helium and Sulfur’s flashback end music)

 

Sulfur

And than we defeated the monster and sent it back to our planet! It was soooooo cool!

 

Helium

Yes, I guess it was the human emotion of coolness.

 

Sulfur

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

 

Helium

Anyway, Sulfur, I understand now that it was my fault for leading you in the worst ways and not caring about your opinion. I take full responsibility.

 

Sulfur

No, no, no! It’s my fault, Helium! Um, Helium. I need to tell you something kinda sorta important. I, well, it’s hard to explain. I, I, I’m kinda sorry for never listening to you and never doing what I’m told. I always wanna feel alone so I can do something cool, but I also want to impress people like you. You mean the world to me because you are smart, cool, funny, strong, and just straight out a good leader! I just feel like I need to impress you, but the only way I know how to do that is by being alone and doing what I want. You really inspire me and I’m sorry I always act out. I’m kinda nervous when I’m with you because, because, because, UGH! I don’t know why. I’ve never really felt this way before! I think I feel the human emotion of familyness stuff. I’m explaining this badly. Me feel like her, I mean you, I mean, UGH! Since we don’t really have family on our planet I’m just, hmm. I got it! Helium, do you ever feel lonely? I feel like I like you. Will you be my family, or you don’t have to if you don’t want to. In fact, I don’t want you! You are annoying and bossy! So, go away!

 

Helium

Sulfur, I know what you mean.

 

Sulfur

Really?

 

Helium

Yes, and I enjoy your presence, too. Can we work together?

 

Sulfur

Yes!

 

End Scene 13

 

The End

 

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