Sulfur- an alien from the planet Quadra-Elemence, a slob, tends to think more of himself, very rebellious, counter-dependent, loves food, wants to be in solitude, but also wants a family 44
Helium- an alien from the planet Quadra-Elemence, a snob, acts very perfect, thinks everything should be perfect, wants to be listened to, group-dependent, always wants things to be her way 38
Monster- a corrupt alien from the planet Quadra-Elemence, it has turned into a monster
Human/McDonald’s Worker- human is fearful and impatient, McDonald’s Worker doesn’t understand what is going on
Scene 1
(Helium and Sulfur bickering and yelling)
Helium
But we did!
Sulfur
Are you trying to get us arrested!?
Helium
Ugh! Humans are so ignorant when it comes to real politics! No wonder they are not part of the alliance.
Sulfur
Helium!
Helium
Let us just tell the police officer what happened.
Sulfur
Fine!
Helium
FINE!
Sulfur
What evs.
Helium
It all started when we arrived on New York state, United States of America, Northern Western Hemisphere, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy…
Sulfur
(interrupting) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Helium
Anyway, Sulfur and I, the perfect Helium, arrived in New York State. We were sent to your primitive planet to destroy the corrupt people from our own planet, Quadra-Elemence.
Sulfur
These broken people from our planets are kinda monsters so no duh we had to come to save your home or what evs.
Helium
Here is definitely, truly, and completely what happened… (Helium’s flashback – play elegant piano music)
End Scene 1
Scene 2
Person
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
Monster
grrrrrrrrrrrrr! RAAAAAAAAAR! (Monster runs to Person and grabs him/her)
Person
SOMEONE! HELP ME!
Sulfur
Never fear, Sulfur is here! Man I always wanted to say that! YASSSSSS!
Helium
Ugh! Why am I stuck with this sorry excuse for a teammate!
Person
AM I BEING SAVED OR WHAT?!
Sulfur
Or what! (laughs hysterically)
Helium
Sulfur, focus! Corner the monster by trapping it between exactly four of those primitive automobiles!
Sulfur
You mean the cars? What evs. (Grabs 4 boxes and traps Monster in a square crookedly)
Helium
It is crooked! What is wrong with you! (Runs to boxes to fix them, but the Monster grabs her)
Let go of me! Help!
Sulfur
Fine. Hmmmmmm, what should I do?
Person and Helium
SAVE US!
(end Helium’s flash back end music)
End Scene 2
Scene 3
Helium
And then Mr. Officer, Sulfur left us. As you can see it is all Sulfur’s fault!
Sulfur
At least i didn’t get carried away with all of those crazy back flips! You gotta see my side of the story!
Helium
At least I’m not grammatically incorrect.
Sulfur
Is she talking about I? What evs. When I left I did something important. (Sulfur’s flashback play crazy drum music)
End Scene 3
Scene 4
Person and Helium
SAVE US!
Sulfur
Alright. I think i have an idea. Brb! (runs to McDonald’s)
End Scene 4
Scene 5
McDonald’s Worker
Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?
Sulfur
Yeah, I’d like three Big Macs, five twenty-piece chicken nuggets, four double orders of cheese burgers, an extra large cola, and a side of large fries? Oh, and can I have a salad?
McDonald’s Worker
That’ll be $500.
Sulfur
WHAT!? That’s a rip-off! I’m saving your world, bruh!
McDonald’s worker
LIAR! (flashing lights followed by a roar)
(scared) Ok, it’s on the house
Sulfur
Thanks! Bye! (runs out of McDonald’s)
End Scene 5
Scene 6
Person and Helium
HELP PLEASE!
Sulfur
I’m back, and this time I have a plan!
Helium
Don’t tell me you are using your ability.
Monster
ROAR!
(Sulfur’s flashback done end music)
End Scene 6
Scene 7
Sulfur
And then I used my ability, which by the way I get from eating. I shot the monster with my smelly gas to make the monster faint! On the other hand Helium sat around doing nothing, so ha! It’s Helium’s fault!
Helium
Wow, Sulfur. I’m surprised at how well you thought out your plan, but you are still wrong. What really happened was that you… (Helium’s 2nd flashback play piano music)
End Scene 7
Scene 8
Monster
ROAR! (falls asleep and snores along with Helium and Person.)
Sulfur
HAHAHA! I did it! I saved you! All of you! Maybe now you’ll treat me like a real person Helium! Helium? Ummmmmm… are you okay?
Helium
(snores louder then wakes up) Huh? What? where am I? YAWN! Man what did you do this time, Sulfur?
Person
YAWN! Thanks for saving me, I guess.
Helium
Quickly Sulfur, move this human back to where it belongs before the monster wakes up!
Sulfur
That’s not fair! Me always get the easy stuff!
Helium
You mean “I always get the easy stuff.”
Sulfur
No, I mean I always get the easy stuff! ME!
Helium
When I said it I meant your sentence was grammatically incorrect! Now go!
Person
I don’t have all day!
Sulfur
Stay out of it human!
(Sulfur and Helium bicker and yell)
Monster
(wakes up) YAWN! ROAR!
Sulfur
OMG! OMG! OMG!
Helium
You mean “Oh my gosh!”
Sulfur
What evs.
Helium
COME ON! I’ll grab the human with my special ability and you go!
(end 2nd Helium flashback end piano)
End Scene 8
Scene 9
Sulfur
Blah, blah, blah. (sarcastically) You used your ability to magically float the person to safety! (spins fingers around in air)
Helium
Pshhhhhhh (sticks tongue out)
Sulfur
After Helium used her dumb power, I attacked the monster!
End Scene 9
Scene 10
(Sulfur flashback 2 – play drum music)
Monster
ROAR!
Sulfur
Prepare for the butt kicking of a lifetime! I also always wanted to say that! (fight choreography)
Take that! And that! And that!
Monster
ROAR! (fights back)
Sulfur
OUCH! Ugh, that hurt a lot. How do i get into these situations?
Monster
ROAR! (fights again)
Sulfur
OUCH! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (fake punch rapid fire) How do you like that monster?!
Monster
(coughs then faints)
Sulfur
YASSSSSSSSSS!
End Scene 10
Scene 11
(end Sulfur’s 2nd flashback)
Helium
Sulfur! That’s actually pretty interesting! Did you really do that?
Sulfur
Yeah.
Helium
Sounds like you are more powerful than I thought, Sulfur.
Sulfur
Thanks, I mean what evs!
Helium
Anyway, Mr. Officer, after that Sulfur and I kind of worked together.
Sulfur
What evs.
Helium
When i came back…
End Scene 11
Scene 12
(Helium and Sulfur’s flashback play the song “amalgam”)
Helium
I’m back! Where is the monster?
Sulfur
Right there by the curb. I defeated it by myself!!!!!!
Helium
Umm, it does not look defeated Sulfur!
Sulfur
Yeah it does! It’s right… (confused) umm, where’d it go? What’d you do with it? (monster sneaks up behind and grabs Sulfur) HELP!
Helium
Oh Sulfur. What am I going to do with you?!
Sulfur
HELP!
Helium
Coming Sulfur. (Takes a breath and slowly walks to the monster not caring at all) Hmmm, what to do at a time like this. Oh wait, Sulfur has disgusting gas powers! If I can get Sulfur something to consume, he can release his noxious gas! (grabs small box) Sulfur catch! (throws to Sulfur)
Sulfur
Good idea, bruh! (pretends to eat) HA! Take that monster thing!
Monster
BLEH! (lets go of Sulfur)
Helium
As Sulfur likes to say, take that foul beast! (fight choreography)
Sulfur
Hi-ya! (fake punch from behind)
Helium and Sulfur
HA! (fake punch monster faints)
End Scene 12
Scene 13
(end Helium and Sulfur’s flashback end music)
Sulfur
And than we defeated the monster and sent it back to our planet! It was soooooo cool!
Helium
Yes, I guess it was the human emotion of coolness.
Sulfur
Yeah, I guess you could say that.
Helium
Anyway, Sulfur, I understand now that it was my fault for leading you in the worst ways and not caring about your opinion. I take full responsibility.
Sulfur
No, no, no! It’s my fault, Helium! Um, Helium. I need to tell you something kinda sorta important. I, well, it’s hard to explain. I, I, I’m kinda sorry for never listening to you and never doing what I’m told. I always wanna feel alone so I can do something cool, but I also want to impress people like you. You mean the world to me because you are smart, cool, funny, strong, and just straight out a good leader! I just feel like I need to impress you, but the only way I know how to do that is by being alone and doing what I want. You really inspire me and I’m sorry I always act out. I’m kinda nervous when I’m with you because, because, because, UGH! I don’t know why. I’ve never really felt this way before! I think I feel the human emotion of familyness stuff. I’m explaining this badly. Me feel like her, I mean you, I mean, UGH! Since we don’t really have family on our planet I’m just, hmm. I got it! Helium, do you ever feel lonely? I feel like I like you. Will you be my family, or you don’t have to if you don’t want to. In fact, I don’t want you! You are annoying and bossy! So, go away!
Helium
Sulfur, I know what you mean.
Sulfur
Really?
Helium
Yes, and I enjoy your presence, too. Can we work together?
Sulfur
Yes!
End Scene 13
The End