“School. Lots of stories have been written about school. Lots of kids do not like school. Few do. Teachers give orders. Students listen.”
School. Lots of stories have been written about school. Lots of kids do not like school. Few do. Teachers give orders. Students listen. If students don’t listen they are either chastised or warned not to do whatever they did again. If they do do it again, they are sent to the principal’s office. The principal is feared by all in the school – by teachers, students, and even kitchen staff and maintenance. But what if, just what if, a kid was sent to the principal’s office, and didn’t listen or show respect. Then who would the principal tell? What would he/she do? They would probably call the child’s parents. That would be the end of that. The child would be taken home, yelled at, and probably harshly punished. But what if the child didn’t listen to his parents? Bad things would happen to the child.
Now forget everything I just told you for one second. How do armies win wars? Yes, guns and armor, and bases, and strategy, and heart, and all that. But besides heart, and guns, and strategy, you need numbers. Yes. Even though the Spartans only were 300 and the Persians were many more, the Spartans still put up a good fight. Now I don’t mean to give you guys a history lesson but what I’m trying to say is that they lost because they had every requirement but one. Numbers. Numbers cost the Spartans the battle. My point is numbers wins.
But remember those school kids? How come they are losing the battle if they are far ahead in numbers? Something’s not right.
Here is an example of what I mean. In an unknown town in NJ, there is a school. 217 kids, 10 teachers, 6 maintenance people, one P.E. coach, one music teacher, a drama dude, one assistant principal, and one principal.
Here is an example of a class. Ms. Kqwedvbbcvcd3sdfhdv, Ms. K for short, teaches the students in room 309. 1 teacher, 21 kids. The kids are Tamry, Ben, Tim A, Tim C, Ivy, Lil Mike, Christopher, Mason, Ethan, Emily Q, Emily P, Juan, Alberto, Madison, Alex, Ava, Prudence, (Prude for short,) William Febloquentz, Laury, (Pronounced Looouuury,) Olivia, and, Gertrude.
Now, don’t you think that’s a lot of kids for just one Ms. K? But, before I get into the story, I have to catch up on the drama.
So, for starters, Juan got into a fight with Tamry and Christopher, Laury and Emily P still have their ongoing feud do to the fact that Emily P spilled her milk on Laury’s “best piece of art ever,” during free time, and even though Emily P says it was an accident Laury “knows” that she did it because Emily P wants her to eternally suffer, and Alex and Prudence are still mad at Alberto and Madison for stealing their ideas in the make your own holiday project back in October. Lil Mike and William are still upset because they think Gertrude cheated them out of their victory at the science fair because Emily Q paid her to make sure her and Ivy would win no matter what she did. And there’s a rumor that Ben is with Olivia.
Now that we got that stuff out of the way, let’s get down to business.
So, it’s a Monday morning. Bell rings at 7:57, to give the kids a couple minutes to get to class. Class starts at 8. Our story starts at 7:55. Ben is flirting with Olivia, Emily P and Laury won’t stop fighting, (“You hate me!”) Tamry is fighting with Christopher, and of course Gertrude got into another fist fight with Lil Mike. After all this, it’s 8. Bell rings. Prude manages to break up Gertrude and Lil Mike’s fight. Class starts. They all sit down despite their conflicts. Ms. K comes in and says, “Settle down. Alright good moooorning class.”
“Good morning, Ms. K.”
“So class, was homework easy or what? I tell you kids I’m always right!”
“Actually Ms. K, no one’s always right,” said Lil Mike.
“Lil Mike, I was being SARCASTIC. By the way, what happened to your eye?”
“Well, why don’t you ask Gertrude!”
“Oh shut up, it was Emily Q!”
“Don’t you go blaming me!”
There was suddenly silence. The silence was broken when Lil Mike said, “Stupid girls.” Unfortunately Gertrude heard this, stood up and practically yelled, “Oh shut up, boys aren’t better! At fighting at least.”
“THAT’S IT!” Lil Mike jumped up from his seat but before he could get to Gertrude, Ms. K intervened.
“ENOUGH!” This time she yelled so loud everyone froze in their spots. Gertrude and lil Mike sat down. Everyone thought the same thing. “Uhhh, not again. Ms. K is so annoying.”
RING! RIIIIIIIIING! RING RING RING! Finally! Everyone thought. Lunch!
Everyone went down to lunch, rushing past each other as if in the lunch room was Babe Ruth giving out free autographs. When they got there they all moaned. A huge line AGAIN. All the other classes beat them there. Ms. White’s class, Ms. Nolan’s class, and of course, Ms. Robertson’s class were all in line. Finally Ms. K’s class got to the front. Chef Brett said, “Late again!” in his smiley doesn’t-really-mean-it voice. Then, similarly to the way Lil Mike said “stupid girls,” he said, “Losers.” Mason and Lil Mike both looked at each other and gave each other the “I wanna kill this guy” look. They would’ve killed him if he wasn’t bigger, smellier and more powerful than them.
Mason and Lil Mike sat down together.
“Don’t you think it’s not fair the way she treats us?” said Lil Mike as he stuffed a hamburger in his mouth.
“Yeah Gertrude is such a j-”
“No, not her, even though she can be a jerk-”
“THANK YOU!” Lil Mike yelled. “Thats exactly what I’m saying. Wait,” said LM, “Then who’s the she?”
“You tell me!” said Mason.
Lil Mike took a second and then said, “Oh. Ms. K. I hate her too. You know, why don’t we do something about her. She’s so mean, and just makes our problems worse, and while she’s not doing that, she’s yelling at us!”
“Well maybe you’re right – maybe we should do something about it. I mean, if we really needed to, there are way more of us than her, so if we REALLY needed to, overthrowing her would not be a problem.”
Lil Mike then had that look that people get midway through TV shows implying that a mystery has been solved. Then Lil Mike said, “Let’s do it!”
Mason then said, laughing, “I wish,” as he took as sip of his lemonade.
“What! You said it yourself! If we could do this the right way, no one would ever know! We would have the best day-”
“Day! Year! We could do it to all the teachers as long as we have enough people.”
Lil Mike grinned. “We must gather the army.”
The army started with Lil Mike and Mason. Then William F joined due to his everlasting friendship with LM, and then came Ben, who shortly was followed by his GF Olivia. Now there were 5. They needed at least 10 from each class. After that they would hope others would join. Some would oppose. More would accept. Alex, Prude, Juan, Emily P, and Alberto made it 10. That was enough for them, because they knew 75% of the grade would accept, as I already said. I was just reviewing for those of you that don’t really pay attention or just skim over my story.
After lunch was recess, and after recess was history. Now personally I like history, but it’s hard to like history when your teacher isn’t exactly “into” it. If you don’t get what I’m saying, Ms. K hates history, so it’s SO boring. The ten students had a plan. They were just waiting for the perfect time.
(This is the one y’all been waiting for! Hopefully…oh look at that – it wasn’t!)
“Alright class, the following packet has questions from the reading that you were supposed to have read.” She gave Tim A a stare. “You read it right?” she said with an evil grin.
“Yes ma’m,” he said in a serious way.
Then as the children were working she said “Ok kids, so behave I’m gonna go use the restroom, now don’t you go causin’ any trouble, got that?”
“Yes Ms. K.”
Ok, pause. Why do teachers always say restroom? Just say bathroom, cause restroom sounds like you’re going to a room where you take a nap. When I was 6 my teacher said she was going to the restroom, and I thought she was going to a room where a bunch of teachers take a nap on the colorful round chairs, kinda like a teacher’s lounge. To this day when someone says restroom, that is what I think of – my first grade teacher sitting on that colorful round chair.
When Ms. K left, the class waited a moment and then… BOOM, constant talking.
“So did you see that post Emily Q made…”
“And like the homework last night was so confusing.”
“OMG, who is going to eat those hamburgers like what if Chef Brett just pooped and then put it on a hamburger bun!”
“I read that’s what they do at Burger King on Wikipedia!”
Lil Mike shot Mason a look. They were both considering if they wanted to do it now, or not, and if so, how would they “execute their plan,” to get Ms. K out of their lives and freedom into them. William F gave LM the same look. LM got up, gave both of them the “follow me to the front of the classroom” look, and they did. At the front of the classroom LM said to both of them, “If we wanna get this to work, we need to get her at a time where she’s acting like the bad Ms. K we know she is. Cause if we do it now, less people will get on board, plus we won’t really be AS into it as we know we can be.”
“Point,” said William F.
Mason then said “But I wanna do this soon! I mean you’re right, now’s not the time, but let’s aim for by the end of the week at least.”
“Done,” they both said.
Now it’s Tuesday. Yay. We are one day closer to the REBELLION, even though, for all you know it could be today (Tuesday). Notice I said you, because I know when it will be, or at least I can decide.
Everyone goes in. For some reason it was one of those blehhhh days where nobody had energy to do anything, including work or talk. One of those days where you just watch a couple episodes of a show or a movie, and then take a long nap. But instead it’s a Tuesday, so you gotta go to school. Ms. K obviously wasn’t feeling like the students were.
“Ok class, are we all settled?”
“Well I wanna go back to bed and-”
“That was a rhetorical question, Alex,” Ms. K said in a don’t-get-me-started way.
After a horrific first period full of yelling, it was off to music, which kind of made everybody’s day a tad brighter because like who doesn’t Mr. Freedberg? But it didn’t last long, because guess what was next? HISTORY. Uhhhh. That kind of cancelled out the funness of Mr Freedberg (if you know what I mean) and sent everybody back to the blehhh mood. Periods four and five were just like period one. Boring and long. Lunch was at 1 instead of 12:30 because of a lunch swap, and this made everyone starving.
During period 6 Mason, LM, and William F had an emergency meeting.
“What’s this all about?” Said William F.
“Should we do it now?”‘ Said Mason.
“Do wha- oh. Maybe.”
“Think about it” Said LM.
“Everyone‘s hungry. People can do crazy things when they’re hungry, like beat up teachers and put them in closets.”
“Good point.” Said LM.
The decisions is made.
They will do it now.
“Little Mike, could you please sit down,” said Ms. K. “You too Mason, and William F please sit down.”
As Mason and William F went to sit down, LM put his arm out, as if restricting them. He gave them the I-got-this look.
“No Ms. K, I refuse to sit down,” he stomped.
Ms. K looked furious, “William Jason Feidelberg, you sit down RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME!”
Little Mike’s face turned an extremely dark shade of red. “No I will not listen to you anymore! I am sick to death listening to teachers! My parents and mentors have always told me to, but they are wrong. I will not take orders from some frauds! You think you know how we feel but…”
“MICHAEL, SIT NOW!”
“NO YOU SIT DOWN! I WILL NOT TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU! Think about it. There are more of us than you. A revolution could happen any second now. You teachers are just lucky we waited this long but now the time is upon us! PUT HER IN THE CLOSET!”
“Mike, there isn’t a closet,” said Mason in a lowish voice so only the three of them could here. “
Then tie her up and put her on her desk!”
At least 6 students got up and charged at her, only to realize there wasn’t much to tie her up with, so they just made a big dog pile with her on the bottom. They then put duct tape on her mouth, and had people guarding the door, so everyone couldn’t hear her yelling and misery. They then hit her head on a chair to knock her out. The revolution had begun.
This was War.
After LM took in all this, he asked the people at the door, so he could “take care of some business.”
LM went down to the cafeteria, wear other kids were eating, and he found Chef Brett.
“Hey shortie, how’s it been?” he said with one of those evil smiles.
LM responded by pulling out a yard stick from behind his back and saying “Your food sucks!”
Then he whacked him in the head with the yardstick various times until he was on the ground. After Little Mike was done with his beating, he ran upstairs, and told his army the news. They were amazed.
“Kids, can you quiet down! I can hear you from the 5th floor!” said Mr. Roberts, an eighth grade history teacher, known for his dreadful ‘Roberts’ stare. So LM smacked him in his belly button with the yardstick. Then they threw him in the room and shut the door. They tied him up next to Ms. K using duct tape they stole from the art room. They stole Ms. K and Mr. Robert’s phones so that A: they couldn’t call the cops, and B: so that the kids could play with awesome smart phones.
LM had an idea that he told Mason and Will F. You’ll have to wait and see what it was.
Across the hall was room 304. If there was ever going to be a room that would find out about this, it was 304. As Mason and Will F walked behind him into 304, LM kicked open the door like in all the movies and it was awesome! He walked in, interrupting their math class. Ms. Beomonte gave him the “Who do you think you are!” look.
“You teachers have bossed us around for two long! This ends NOW! Charge!”
LM pointed to her with his half meter stick. The 304 kids piled on her and the next thing LM knew she was tied up back in 303 (their homeroom.) So now Mr. Roberts, Ms. K, and Ms. B were all tied up, and Chef Brett was on the kitchen floor. Speaking of Chef Brett, LM knew Chef Brett wouldn’t be knocked out forever.
Time to bring him up to the third floor.
Chapter 9: Special delivery
LM and a couple other kids (not Mason and Will F. because they were left in charge of 303), went down the stairs to carry Chef Brett into the elevator, and then up to 303. If they ran into any teachers in the elevator, well…let’s just say they brought the duct tape. The trip downstairs went smoothly, but when they got to the kitchen Chef Brett had gotten up and was talking to Mr. Drozlesfinklesteinelzstrerererdythe, Mr. Droz for short.
“So, I tell you, this kid in Ms. K’s class, Michael I think, comes up to me and whacks me in the head with a half meter stick!” Chef Brett was practically jumping up and down in fury and shock.
“Listen Chef,” said Mr Droz, “I think, you’re crazy. You’re telling me a little kid beat a 36 year old with a half meter stick? I think you slipped on some of your sauce, banged your head had some crazy dream, because apparently 36 year old chefs have crazy dreams! Now I have a class to teach!”
“But wait, really, I’m not lying! Really!”
Chef Brett then sat down on his little chef dude chair.
“Looks like no one believes you, Chef.”
“You! You little rascal! Imma teach you a-” BANG.
Gertrude hit Chef Brett in the back of his head, and then tried to spit on him but some how failed and made this weird gagging noise and kind of regurgitated some mucus.
“Good job ‘Trude. Why don’t you go find a garbage can.”
Then ‘Trude ran towards the can and puked some more. Then LM and the Tims’s dragged Chef Brett into the elevator and went up to the 3rd floor to add him to their collection.
Chapter 10: We Shall Learn
Now kids, what you just heard is not a true story.
Because if it was we would be in a free kingdom of glory.
But since it’s not we’re stuck with this.
A crazy old world keeping thoughts in the air, waiting for someone to take a deep breath.