the old me was exuberant
she was small and confident
her cheeks shone yellow like the sun
she could jump on flowers
use the petals as landing pads
and if she stepped on a worm
she shrugged her shoulders and kept running
that old me died in an explosion that burned bright in the night
the flames billowed like sheets hung out to dry, caressed by the wind
i couldn’t tell you why or where it was
but i could hear the boom of timbers breaking
i could feel the stirring in my soul of a simple melody gone gravely wrong
i could feel a piece i had no idea existed fall out of my chest and splinter on the pavement with an almost musical melancholy sigh
i was called to the funeral, and i wore a yellow dress
to commemorate the color of her cheeks
i realized my mistake when i saw that
everyone else was wrapped in black and frowning at me
after the services someone pulled out a radio
rusted with blue nostalgia
they put on her favorite song and asked me if i would dance to it
for i looked just like her
i tried to match the steps but
the music got faster and the dancing more twisted my foot struck the edge
of the radio i hopped in pain the radio stopped and
i fell and they kept frowning and
i started crying and holding my foot and wishing
for something
wishing to be something
that wasn’t her
all i felt was one word ringing through the pathways of my body as if i was standing
on a huge bell
impostor
impostor
impostor