You liked me more when I stood up to others
but less when I stood up to you
and I asked you why I was only allowed to
be strong at certain times
and you said that that’s just the way it is when you’re a girl
and I asked what about when I’m a woman
and you said that maybe it will be different then
And now I am older
and sometimes I think that maybe I am a woman now
and maybe now it will different for me
but then I get on the subway
and I have to switch train cars
because a man is yelling out obscenities
and telling me what he is going to put in me and where
and people on the train are telling me to get off
instead of telling him to stop
but then I go to the park
and a man shoves me down to the dirt
and sticks his hand down my pants
and I have to run as fast as I can
into the movie theater bathroom two blocks away
panting and feeling dirty outside and in
but then I go to school
and teachers like it when I am smart
and boys like it when I am sexy
but I can only choose one
because teachers wouldn’t like my crop tops
and boys wouldn’t like it if I had my nose in a book
and right now is the oldest I have ever been
and the youngest I will ever be
and I am reminded every day
that I am not a woman yet
because until the world is different
I will not be a woman
and that I will not be a woman
until the world is different
and if I am still a girl
why am I being treated like a piece of meat?