i remember my grandparents house
i remember that there was a wall there before it got knocked down
i remember that the kitchen looked different
i remember the smell of cigarette smoke
i remember climbing the big tree outside
i remember moving
i remember the new smells
i remember no more trees
i remember cigarette smoke everywhere
i remember the two chairs
i remember one with towels on it
i remember bowls of ice with lipstick stains
i remember two twin beds pushed together
i remember sleeping on the floor
i remember waking up early
i remember mcdonald’s breakfast
i remember hash browns
i remember the single cigar in the backseat
i remember the hugs
i remember being dropped off
i remember taking it all for granted
i remember leaving without saying goodbye
i remember not giving hugs
i remember not saying that i loved them
i remember christmas
i remember waiting for family
i remember hospitals
i don’t remember the night before
i don’t remember the next morning, i made that up in my mind
i don’t remember my feelings
i don’t remember christmas
i don’t remember anything
i don’t remember my birthday
i don’t remember one of the chairs leaving
i don’t remember the cigarette smoke smell getting worse
i don’t remember more ice
i don’t remember the twin beds being pushed apart
i don’t remember beeping
i don’t remember the second bed being covered in stuff
i don’t remember anything
i want to remember when it got worse
i want to remember so i could have changed the future
i want to remember memories
i want to remember things i don’t
i want to remember so i could have done something
i want to remember when the cigarette smell got worse
i want to remember when the twin beds got pushed apart
i want to remember beeping
i want to remember selling the scooter
i want to remember christmas
i want to remember my birthday
i want to remember more ice
i want to remember the end
i remember the end
i remember the beeping
i remember the tubes
i remember clearing off the beds
i remember selling clothes
i remember airing out the smoke
i remember getting rid of ice and popsicles and lipstick
i remember the end