Characters:
TRUMAN – A senior in high school who is in the middle of a pre-college crisis. He is struggling to find a true sense of independence.
DIANE – A sophomore in high school who witnesses Truman’s crisis unfold and lets him take up as much space as he needs to. She is a caring sister who is surprisingly wiser and more mature than her brother.
(We see TRUMAN fixing his hair in the bathroom. DIANE enters and bangs on the bathroom door with her umbrella.)
DIANE
Hey, Truman. Are you in there?
TRUMAN
No.
DIANE
Come on, it’s raining like crazy outside.
TRUMAN
Sorry.
DIANE
Are you still getting ready?
TRUMAN
Don’t come in.
DIANE
Mom and Dad say we have to go now.
TRUMAN
I’m not ready.
DIANE
Your hair looks fine.
TRUMAN
Let me fix it.
DIANE
Shouldn’t I be the one who takes an hour to get ready?
TRUMAN
I don’t know. Should you?
DIANE
Look, I’m coming in there and–
TRUMAN
You better not. I’m taking a shit in here.
DIANE
You just said you were fixing your hair.
TRUMAN
I can multitask.
DIANE
I don’t buy it. I’m going in.
(DIANE enters the bathroom.)
DIANE
Just as I thought. Bravo.
TRUMAN
You’re so annoying. Get out.
DIANE
No, you’re the annoying one. I’m hungry. I want pizza. Your hair looks fine.
TRUMAN
Just let me fix it.
DIANE
What’s the special occasion?
TRUMAN
None of your business, Diane. Go back outside.
DIANE
No! Tell me now or else I’m calling Mom and Dad and they’ll ask you about your personal issues instead.
TRUMAN
Fine. Emily is going to be at the pizza place celebrating Charlie’s birthday.
DIANE
And if you come in there with fantastic hair, she’ll take one look at you– her fifth grade boyfriend– and dump Charlie right then and there, on his birthday and everything. Because she can’t hide her love for you any longer.
TRUMAN
Very funny.
DIANE
Seriously, Truman. You need to get real here.
TRUMAN
I can’t get real here.
DIANE
Why do you still think about Emily?
TRUMAN
Because we’re perfect for each other.
DIANE
Don’t give me any bullshit.
TRUMAN
Well, it’s true. She lives right across the street and her dad and our dad have played golf together for years.
DIANE
And you want Dad’s approval, so if you date Emily then you think you’ll get it.
TRUMAN
Maybe.
DIANE
(pointing her umbrella at him and tapping his shoulder with it) I knew it.
TRUMAN
(pushing the umbrella away from his shoulder) He was proud of me in fifth grade, when I was so good at baseball and wore that Penn sweatshirt every day.
DIANE
But now he’s not.
TRUMAN
And it sucks, but I don’t want to go to Penn. I shouldn’t have to go. Brown is a great school, too.
DIANE
I agree. Why should it matter?
TRUMAN
It shouldn’t, but it does to Dad. Apparently, if I went to Brown, then I wouldn’t be “keeping up his legacy.”
DIANE
So you think if you do some of the things you did in fifth grade then you’ll win him over again? Even though Dad’s been dead set on you going to the same school he went to since you could walk, you think that if you get a new girlfriend that he likes, all his disappointment in you will be magically washed away.
TRUMAN
Pretty pathetic when you put it like that, isn’t it?
DIANE
Yeah, so will you quit this Emily bullshit? Just go to Penn if you’re really that desperate for Dad to be proud of you again.
TRUMAN
But I should stick to my principles, right?
DIANE
Right.
TRUMAN
Even if Dad hates me for it?
DIANE
Oh my God, Truman. It’s time to build a bridge and get over yourself, my friend. Make a choice.
TRUMAN
I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of time before I have to either accept Penn or Brown.
DIANE
Honestly, if that’s your biggest problem in life then you’re doing just fine.
TRUMAN
Well, I’d like to see how you handle this in a couple of years.
DIANE
Trust me. I will never have to handle this.
TRUMAN
Seriously–
DIANE
Just make a decision. Follow your heart. I want pizza. Can’t you think about this later?
TRUMAN
(sarcastic) Wow, impressive. I have it all figured out now. You should be a shrink.
DIANE
Actually, I did psychoanalyze you quite well, especially given that it only took me a minute to catch on to what your crisis is this time.
TRUMAN
What’s “this time” supposed to mean?
DIANE
Nothing. You just take up a lot of space sometimes. But that’s okay. We love you for it.
TRUMAN
What?
DIANE
Anyway, you know it’s not Emily anymore.
TRUMAN
Wait. Can you repeat what you just said before? About me taking up a lot of space?
DIANE
I didn’t mean it like that.
TRUMAN
It’s fine. I’m not asking because I’m mad at you for saying it. I just want to know what you meant.
DIANE
Okay. I mean that you’re debating between Penn and Brown because Daddy wants you to go to Penn but you’re leaning toward Brown. Some people are worried about getting into any college at all– like me– so you should be happy about getting into two Ivy League schools.
TRUMAN
You’re going to get into college.
DIANE
Well maybe I’m not. Dad never told me that he wanted me to go to Penn because he knows that I would never be able to get in.
TRUMAN
That’s not true. I think it’s just different with daughters, that’s all.
DIANE
No, that’s not it. I’m not smart.
TRUMAN
That’s not true. You’re smarter than me right now because you’re able to help me solve my problems when I can’t even figure it out.
DIANE
But I don’t get good grades. I’m not really good at much, to be honest. So that’s why he doesn’t put pressure on me like he does with you.
TRUMAN
Believe me, you don’t want Dad putting pressure on you.
DIANE
Not saying that I do, but I would trade with you in a second. Your problem isn’t as big as you think it is.
TRUMAN
True.
DIANE
All you have to do is get some independence. And that’s easy for an eighteen-year-old guy to do.
TRUMAN
I guess so.
DIANE
So just try to do the right thing. And I know we both know what that is.
TRUMAN
What is it?
DIANE
You’re not a fifth grader who’s going to be satisfied as long as Dad is proud of him. You’re a senior in high school now and you’re going to be great out there. It’s your life so you’ve gotta take control.
TRUMAN
Thanks. I know you’re right.
DIANE
Me too.
TRUMAN
I’m going to Brown. But hey, forget about me. You wanted pizza, right?
DIANE
You don’t even know.
TRUMAN
Yeah, let’s focus on you now.
(TRUMAN and DIANE exit.)