“I am very disappointed with you, flip flops. Your design is all worn and you’re getting small. Why are you shrinking? How is that even possible? Before you, at the store, there WAS a pretty little pair of beach shoes that were originally cheaper than you.”
Dear Flip Flops,
I am very disappointed with you, flip flops. Your design is all worn and you’re getting small. Why are you shrinking? How is that even possible? Before you, at the store, there WAS a pretty little pair of beach shoes that were originally cheaper than you. They were BEAU-TI-FUL! They were sparkling, crazy, just my type. They were black, looked like they came from a designer themselves, had a little heel, seemingly sparkling at first sight, and were PERFECT FOR ME. At the last second, my mom just HAD to see the worker guy putting up the 75% off sign (I don’t blame him, he was just doing his job). Oh, but you flip flops…why did you have to be so boring that no one wants to buy you….(sigh) SERIOUSLY!!! Goodbye, my pretty little pair of beach shoes. I would take you back, but…I can’t seem to find your receipt. I bet you hid it. It tires me out just complaining about you. Tsk, this is wasting my precious time. This is twenty minutes I will not get back.
But, you just had to be so boring. No girl my age would want to wear your blue little self. Like at the pier, I almost fell off that swingy ride because I tried to save you. I was on the edge while my friend was on the other side. You had to feel the air in between your not squishy material and I reached my hand out to save you. There was only a chain protecting me from my doom. No belt. I was pissed at you, so I went barefoot and stuffed you at the bottom of my bag.
Another time was at my house when I was playing kids golf outside and YOU SUDDENLY FLEW IN THE WAY OF MY GOLF BALL AND WENT AND KNOCKED IT WAY OFF COURSE. Why?! I wear you all the time! Pssh, not because I don’t have another pair…Ok, you are right, I don’t. Why did you have to be at that store?! I could have been all stylish if you weren’t there. The other pair was a dollar cheaper! WHY?!?! Ok, calm down…. But really! You and your plain design….you’re plain blue! The base color for your pair! That should NOT be able to wear off.
You will/are the only pair of flip flops I will have for maybe another year. I hope we can get along. We could put some cardboard on the back of you, paint you black, and add some cute rainbow designs. That is just like my dream sandals…Forget it, we will never get along…That’s right, flip flops. I hope you feel bad.